Death Descends On New Zealand

WHAT THEY SAY

Wellington, Aug 18 (DPA) New Zealand is experiencing a baby boom with 64,140 births in the 12 months ending June 30, the highest number in 36 years, according to official figures released Monday.

The birth rate in the year was 2.2 per woman, up from 2.1 in 2006-07 and the highest fertility level since 1991, Statistics New Zealand said.

Despite the increase, the birth rate is still about only half the peak of 4.3 per woman reached in 1961 when the population totalled 2.5 million, compared with just under 4.3 million today.

WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
The poor New Zealanders. Living far away amidst the huge Pacific Ocean(or somewhere near) when Death Itself has descended their lands and destroys their lives they can do nothing but tend to their precious sheep. Well, now that the entire population of New Zealand can fit in Mumbai, they feel that their entire race will die out, like the dinosaurs. They try to breed to save themselves, but it is too late. Death does not go away easily.

Yahoo Mocks The Free World

WHAT THEY SAY

San Francisco, Aug 17 (DPA) Millions of people around the planet now carry personal tracking devices with them every day. Their mobile phones broadcast their location all the time. Tech firms and marketers see it as a huge opportunity, but privacy advocates are squirming at the implications.

The worries grew this week.

Web giant Yahoo has unveiled an application called Fire Eagle that allows users to easily share their location via their mobile phone with friends, Internet programmes, their home automation system or anything else that's connected to the world's vast digital net.

Yahoo has made the programme freely available to any developer who wishes to use it. A tour-book company could sell online tours that self-narrate over the phone as users move from landmark to landmark on a visit to London.

WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
Fire Eagle. And the customers think its a step forward.
In the days of Ancient Rome, when plan Fire Eagle was started and Caesar became a king, where its people thrilled?
In the Crusades, when operation Fire Eagle was started by the Holy Roman Empire which caused two centuries of Death and Darkness, where the people thrilled?
And now, when Yahoo launches Fire Eagle which will obviously become the cause of the Third World War(C'mon people! Look at the name: Fire Eagle?!? Doesn't it insult the world's oldest democracy and largest military and economic superpower by symbolizing capturing its animal of freedom and burning it to Death???) people are thrilled.
Well, at least we at DeathConnects can think of Someone who will be happy. (GR)

Rome To Introduce Ancient Gladiators

WHAT THEY SAY
London, Aug 15 (ANI): In a bid to attract tourists, the Roman authorities have come up with a scheme to bring back the crowds by having a Disneyland-style theme park depicting life in ancient Rome, complete with gladiators and Julius Caesar.

This summer the number of tourists in Rome came down by five per cent due to the credit crunch and the strong Euro.

It might be thought that Rome already has enough genuine marvels to offer, from the Colosseum, the Forum and the Pantheon to St Peter's and countless Renaissance palaces and Baroque churches.

But Nazzereno Sacchi, the head of the Roman traders' association, said that 2008 was proving a "black year" for tourism, and that thousands of waiters, cooks and hotel staff were having to be laid off.

In response, the new right-of-centre Rome administration plans to build the Ancient Rome theme park on a site of 400-500 hectares, yet to be chosen.

WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
This story is pretty close to the truth. But, some things you have to hide.
Like, for example, with authentic gladiators and historic figures, spectators will also get to see gory and horrifying gladiator fights in real time, with a Death every day at the Stadium. Along with small children being thrown into vats of boiling acid, people can also watch slaves shut in the arena with a couple of hungry lions and watch maulings and bloodfests. Extra paying audiences will get plastic sheets put over them to avoid the hassle of being covered with blood and intestines. And the best part- cameras allowed!

Michael Phelps Preparing For Death

WHAT THEY SAY

New York, August 14 (ANI): Consuming a staggering 12,000 calories a day is the secret behind swimming sensation Michael Phelps' phenomenal success at the Beijing Olympics.

This is a huge calorie intake because the average man of the same age needs to ingest about 2,000 calories a day.

The U.S. swimmer attributed his title of the greatest Olympian of all time to his appetite when the media asked him what he needed to win medals.

"Eat, sleep and swim. That's all I can do. Get some calories into my system and try to recover the best I can," the New York Post quoted him as having told NBC.

The newspaper has revealed that Phelps eats a breakfast of three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions, and mayonnaise.

He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelette, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.

The report further states that Phelps' lunch comprises a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread, capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

Phelps' dinner includes carbohydrate-rich foods-such as a pound of pasta and an entire pizza-which give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen.

He washes all that down with another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.


WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
Phelps may be the greatest Olympian and a very strong man, but he is totally scared of Death, said a trusted informant(Death).
He once visited a disciple of Death in the Himalayas who told him to eat abnormally large amounts of food everyday, if he wanted to remain immortal. Phelps has been following his advice ever since. Of course, he also became the world's greatest swimmer, but he was told it was part of the preparation.

Reaper Gets Some Strings Pulled In Canada

WHAT THEY SAY

Toronto, Aug 13 (IANS) Canada Tuesday announced a new immigration class under which foreign students and temporary foreign workers can now apply for permanent residence from within Canada. Till now they had to apply for this status from their own native country where the process takes many years, including up to six years from New Delhi.

Introducing the new Canadian Experience Class beginning in October, Canadian Immigration Minister Diane Finley said that certain categories of foreign workers and foreign students here will be eligible to apply from within Canada to become permanent residents and eventually citizens of this country.

To begin with, she said, about 12,000 to 18,000 people will be admitted each year under the new category. This number is eventually likely to go up to 25,000 a year - about 10 percent of the total number of new immigrants Canada admits each year, the minister added.

Currently, Canada has about 165,200 foreign workers and 74,000 foreign students, including about 4,000 Indians, who came here on work permit or student visas last year.

WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
I'm sure you couldn't have guessed the real truth. Think!
What is the average life expectancy in Canada? Around 90. So whats happening? Yup. The Grim Reaper's yield in Canada is getting too low per year. He needs more Deaths, more people Claimed each year. It isn't reported how, but through some strings He finally had Canada loosen up its immigration norms a bit. More immigrants, more Deaths!

Rights Groups Utilize Death

WHAT THEY SAY

BEIJING (Reuters) - A senior Cuban athletics coach denied on Monday that his team's best hope for a track gold at the Beijing Olympics had signed a controversial petition pressing China over Tibet and human rights.

Last week, rights groups published a petition they said was signed by 40 athletes, including Cuba's 110 metre world record holder Dayron Robles, urging Chinese President Hu Jintao to find peace in Tibet and protect freedom of religion and opinion.

The appearance of Robles's name was a surprise given close ties between Cuba and China, which are both Communist-run.

Cuban athletes generally avoid touchy politics, with the exception of defectors from the state-run sports system.

WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
The rights groups are getting out of hand, really. Threatening Dayron Robles with Death if he doesn't sign the petition is too much. And after that, Cuba's state-run sports athletic division threatens a senior coach with Death. Too many threatenings of Death in the world. Too less Deaths.

iPhone Unleashes Dogs Of War

WHAT THEY SAY
Reuters - Apple Inc users have downloaded more than 60 million programs for the iPhone, in the month since the technology company opened the App Store, an online software clearinghouse, chief Executive Steve Jobs told The Wall Street Journal.

Apple sold an average of $1 million a day in applications for a total of about $30 million in sales over the month, Jobs told the paper.

If sales stay at the current pace, Apple stands to earn at least $360 million a year in new revenue from the App Store, Jobs said.

WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
The Apple, of course, symbolizes the fruit which had led to Eve's Death.
While the users think, Ooh i've got 'e such aye pritty lil' sooftware, in reality the App Store is the workshop of the Grim Reaper and after the downloaded programs have attained full access into the iPhone, they will meta-morph into metallic bloodsucking dogs of war which will bring the downfall of mankind and increased profits to Apple.
The fools. The damned fools.

Apocalypse In Toronto

WHAT THEY SAY
TORONTO (Reuters) - A series of explosions at a Toronto propane depot sent balls of flame soaring into the sky on Sunday and forced thousands of people from their homes.

One person was "unaccounted for," but officials were mostly relieved that the early morning explosion apparently caused only minor injuries -- eight people were treated in hospital.

The predawn explosions shattered doors and windows in nearby houses and sent a truck-sized propane tank blasting through the air to land in a business area some 100 yards (metres) away.

With fires still burning at the facility, police ordered people within a one-mile radius to leave their homes, fearful that two large tanks of propane could still explode. By noon that danger had eased, although police could not say when the evacuation would end.

WHAT THE TRUTH IS
Propane depot bopane pepot. It was clearly a sign from the heavens that Death had claimed the doomed area of Toronto and was sending Its disciples to earth in the horrifying shape of balls of flame.

The Time Has Come(in toronto)

Condoleeza Rice Moving Towards Death

WHAT THEY SAY
Washington: The chairman of the House of Representatives foreign affairs committee has urged the Bush administration to shelve the nuclear trade deal with India unless it can guarantee compliance with a US law that would suspend trade if India tested a nuclear weapon again.

In a letter to secretary of state Condoleezza Rice, California representative Howard Berman, a California Democrat, said it would be better to suspend congressional approval of the deal until the next Congress, which convenes in January.

WHAT THE TRUTH IS
All this blablee is going on to mask the dark truth, that Condoleeza Rice is getting old and moving towards Death and to take her mind off it she talks of nuclear deals and writes letters to people she doesn't even know.

Frank Letch's Deal With Death

WHAT THEY SAY

London, Aug 10 (ANI): When there's a will there's a way(note from sid-it should be,'When there's a will there's a death') - this has been proved correct by Frank Letch - who's armless yet lives a normal daily life by using his feet.

Letch, 64, from Devon, a town's mayor had been born without arms, but he did not let the disability impede his life, and has become so efficient in using his feet that he has become an inspiration to the disabled.

He has developed such an incredible dexterity with his lower limbs that he can do everything an able-bodied person can do, even peeling potatoes and drinking beer with his feet.

WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS
After extensive research into his dark and sinful womb life, it was discovered that Frank Letch had made a deal with the Grim Reaper: in return for becoming the town's mayor and another wish which I cannot disclose, he gave away his arms. Later, regretting it-but the Grim Reaper does not go back on His deals.

Bejing Practises Secret Genocide

WHAT THEY SAY

BEIJING (Reuters) - Fancy a seahorse kebab, deep-fried scorpion, or maybe duck liver paste shaped as a table tennis bat?

Beijing, a city known for its culinary diversity, is offering everything from the bizarre to the beautiful when it comes to food during the Aug. 8-24 Olympics with visitors urged to be adventurous and not put off by the unusual.

Some of the city's estimated 40,000 restaurants have added sporting twists to menus in keeping with the Chinese tradition of marking special occasions with unique culinary creations.

WHAT THE TRUTH IS

The President of China has decided that due to undue stress on the nation's resources because of a very high population, natives will be encouraged to try dangerous potentially poisonous foodstuffs so that population will substantially decrease without him being compared to Hitler.

Duke Edinburgh Seeks Protection From Death

WHAT THEY SAY
London, Aug 7 (ANI): After being in the limelight for quite sometime, British Royal Prince Phillip, the Duke of Edinburgh, has now sought a privacy law to protect members of the Royal Family.

Taking a lead from the Max Mosley case, the Duke took action over an alleged invasion of privacy related to the family's personal health, and hopes to prevent the media from reporting details of the royals' private lives.
blablabla yakyak babble babble

WHAT IS THE TRUTH
Isn't it clearly obvious that the Duke has survived an accident he wasn't meant to survive(slipping down the stairs, for example) and now with Death haunting his godforsaken footsteps, his only option is to seek security from freak fatal accidents.